A few thoughts about Ann Romney and "family values"...

I have been thinking a lot about the (now blown-over) brouhaha over Ann Romney's "work" history. She seems a likeable and genuine person. Certainly a humanizing presence next to her rock'em-sock'em husband. And I have no doubt that a woman who raised five children has worked hard, even if she had lots of help.


What lights my fuse is the righteous indignation of Republican operatives (and Anne Romney herself, who suggested this comment was a "great birthday present") suggesting that Democrats somehow treat parenting with scorn or contempt and that they are the party of "family values." OK, I get that it's political theater, and they grabbed an opportunity to sound aggrieved and hope for alignment with aggrieved parents everywhere who can't decide whom to vote for.


Hello? I wish the parties would be worried about offending women voters. We women know that having a job is hard work and raising children is hard work, whether you do one or both, whether they are done by mothers or fathers. I want these parties to be breathlessly trying to impress me with their substantial policies designed to protect my family's security in the ways the government can do best, by ensuring the stability of the economy, the fairness of the tax code, the care and protection of our natural resources, the safety and quality of the products I depend upon, regulation and structure for a health care system that would actually take care of the sick and promote health, support for an education system that prepares our children for citizenship and careers, a justice system that is fair and reliable. And, of course, the protection of my rights, including the privacy of my family to think, speak, worship and love in whatever way seems most authentic to us, provided it does no measurable harm to anyone.


You want to win the support of aggrieved parents?


Start by working on - no lip service, no catch phrases, just actual policy proposals - a tax code that is simple and does not reward those who earn by capital gains more than those who earn by treating patients or writing soap operas or teaching or running a small business?


How about a policy that would provide help with child care in the preschool years? Most parents I know are forced to hire undocumented immigrants, or use young au pairs in order to afford the help they need. Or they decide one parent will just stay home. And these are parents with resources. Others must rely on family members (if they're lucky enough to do so) or expensive day care centers, where annual tuition for one child is often more than twice the annual salary of a minimum wage worker.


How about health care reform that would reassure families that they are not one illness or accident away from bankruptcy? It always seemed to me that insurance was a way to pool risk, so that those unlucky enough to become ill would not also have to face financial ruin. But many politicians (ok, Republicans) sound more interested in protecting the profits of the insurers not the health of citizens. (Don't even get me started on the physicians who think exclusively about their own incomes rather than their role in contributing to a better system. But we didn't elect them.) 


How about sensible reforms to an education loan system that leaves so many college graduates mired in debt the moment they try to enter full adulthood, and forces the poorest to turn to the military for their secondary education?


How about a genuine focus on fiscal responsibility? Not just protection for the richest (and, for Mitt, those very rich "people" otherwise known as corporations), but budgets driven by common sense, not ideology, including a sensible examination of social security and the retirement age. (I don't just worry about my children, but also about providing care for all our aging parents who will find that Medicare, social security and 401K's actually are not adequate.)


I'm sure there are thoughtful parents who may disagree with me on the particulars, but these are the issues that we should be haggling over.


(And it wouldn't hurt if some of you - you know who you are -stopped trying to criminalize reproductive rights while trying to get Medicare to cover Viagra. Just saying.)